As usual, have left shopping to the last minute, as has the rest of the Birmingham population. As a result town resembles a moving sardine tin - one moves from A to B more by a process of osmosis than by walking.
Unfortunately the Yanks have also arrived this year - in the form of a jolly animated snowman that yell 'Happy Christmas, Ho Ho Ho' at us whenever someone passes. Given the aforesaid crush, and the speed of movement of the crowd you get to hear this message quite a lot. Do you think that the courts would label it as justifiable destruction of property if I took its head off, shredded it into little pieces and stuffed it down its torso?
I often think that Christmas brings out the worst in otherwise sane marketing people, causing them to remove their brains and put them in the bottom drawer of the office along with the five year old cheese biscuits and the mouldy corner of a cadbury's cream egg (at least, that's what's in my drawer - isn't this normal?).
The amount of trash (i.e it's american) and rubbish (the British variety) that now adorns our market places and street corners is amazing. TV is no better. I thought we were going to get away with the Spice Girls at the top of the Hit charts. There's a strong possibility that we're going to get the Teletubbies. I heard their song for the first time yesterday. It just as well that I was drinking at the time - two pints of cider and I could just about listen to it without throwing up. As far as I can tell the following is an essential criteria for listening to the song
- Have a lobotomy
- Decide that this isn't enough and remove ALL the brain
- Liquidise it
- Replace the resultant mush and close lid
