It's time to diet again

The cat's just been to the vet. It's time I went on a diet.

OK, if you can't immediately link the above two statements (and if you can you're psychic), it goes like this.

I took the cat to the vet last Wednesday. She's getting old and I thought she could do with a check up. Besides which, the expression 'long in the tooth' applies to this cat - she's got an incisor that would any sabre tooth tiger proud.

So, it's ear defenders on, put Amber in the cat box and put her in the car. Glass windows break in a 100 yard radius (if you've ever heard a Siamese in full offense mode then you'll know what I mean). Travel to vet with siren (A.K.A Amber) going.

If you've got the impression that she doesn't like cars you'd be right - we took both cats up to see Mum once. The Persian went in the cat box, Amber on warren's lap. Interesting journey, possibly to feature at some future point on a TV program entitled 'Stupid Things Drivers Do'. At one point Warren let Amber explore the car. She found the spot between the brake pedal and the floor particularly interesting.

Anyway, we get to the vet. Amber shuts up. Brief wait, then in to see the vet. First thing the vet says is 'She's a bit overweight, but you knew that'. Never let it be said that you get more stupid as you get older. I suprised myself by keeping my mouth shut. I had thought she was just about right - couldn't see her ribs, still had a bit of a waist. Oh well. The vet weighed her - 5.5 kg. 'She should be 4kg', she said. A few further checks - cat's teeth need a bit of work. 'Put her on a diet, then come back and see me in a month's time', the vet said. 'You know how to weigh her, don't you?'. 'Put her on the scales?' I said. 'Nope, doesn't work', was the answer. 'You have to weigh yourself, then pick the cat up and weigh both of you.'

Having been in denial for the past 6 months I'm now going to get up in the morning, stand on the scales and go 'HOW MUCH?!!!!'

Of course I could just weigh both myself and the cat and put any excess weight down to the cat. 'OK, Amber - you're going to have to lose 2 stone'. World's first anorexic cat.

I'm starving.