What day is it?

It has become obligatory (at least I think it has become obligatory) to send sharp witty emails about the holiday you're currently on.

Pity about this one then.

I'm a bit too jet lagged to come up with anything witty, and I've discovered they don't like sharp objects on the plane so that's out as well.

So, here I am in sunny New Zealand.

The flight out was fun. I am one of these weird people who regard the long distance flight as one of the highlights of the holiday. A chance to relax,read a book, get fed, read a book, watch a movie, get fed and sleep - heaven for a couch potato like me. If you strike lucky there are also the occasional nice looking cabin attendant. I didn't.

The effects of September 11th were everywhere. I got searched twice (teach me to wear a belt with a large buckle). My cabin luggage got turned inside out. The mobile phones got inspected and the bottom of my shoes were carefully examined. At least when we got on the plane I thought it was over- it wasn't. The flight I was on went via Los Angeles. In times past the plane has stopped for 3-4 hours, you would get off, sit in the transit lounge for several hours and then get back on the plane.

They've now closed the transit lounge

EVERYONE has to get off the plane and clear passport control and pick up all their baggage then check it back in again. This means that we all had to fill out one of these marvellous Immigration forms - the ones that say "Do you intend to sell drugs, commit a criminal act or overthrow the Government YES/NO". Oh, temptation.

I said everyone had to go through passport control. LA is a busy airport. There are a lot of jumbos coming in and out. These planes carry a lot of passengers. All these passengers have to go through passport control. It was 11pm. There wasn't a full complement of passport control officers.

It took me 2 hours 45 minutes to get through passport control.

Then I had to pick up my luggage

Then I had to check it back in

Transit time was 3 hours.

In theory.

I was one of the quick ones.

We left late.

Multiply this by the traffic going through LA and you realise that there is an awful cock up in the making. For a start, LA was NOT as thorough as Heathrow. By the time they'd managed to check all the passengers the staff were looking a bit fed up. I didn't get searched. I couldn't help feeling that their security measures were making the system less secure not more.

Oh well.

We finally took off for NZ. I'd lost track of time by now, but I arrived in Auckland on either Sunday or Monday, at 6:00 am in the morning. It must have been Monday - I took off on Saturday. Now you understand the title of the email. The plane was late arriving, so I had a bit of a wait before getting a connecting flight to Christchurch.

But .. I'm here now. The hotel is basic but pleasant enough. I've done the usual "I'm in the wrong time zone" crash out for 12 hours. Weather OK but cold - didn't pack my hat so feeling it. It's also a bank holiday - somebody's birthday - so the place is a bit quiet.

Still - I've found out where to watch the soccer. I've found out what the England-Sweden score is(I was on the plane whilst the match was being played). I haven't worked out why Beckham left the pitch but maybe tomorrow's paper will tell me.

I'm off to bed.